In the distance, a faint whistle echos throughout the tunnel. Out of the darkness comes bright lights and with a squeal, the subway train comes to a halt. The doors slide open with a hiss and in the dimly lit subway car, you find yourself quickly scanning for an empty seat while you clutch your guitar case. Covered in your favorite bands stickers, it is your pride and joy. It is the first guitar you learned to play your favorite song on and it is where you learned how to master a slide.
Sitting down, the person next to you eyes you warily before continuing to read the business section in the newspaper. The girl in front of you rolls her eyes as she smacks her gum and slouches in her anarchy t-shirt, fiddling with her torn jeans as she eyes your clothing. The guy next to her, his eyes rimmed in black eyeliner, gives you his best impression of McKayla Maroney's "I'm-not-impressed expression" at your band selection.
You glance down at your own clothing and suddenly, you aren't so confident. A little voice creeps in and puts to words, your doubts. Why did I chose to wear this? I should have worn the other outfit. Is my hair okay? What about my make-up? Should I even by pursuing a music career...at my age? My mother was right, I should have majored in something worthwhile in college.
And the doubts go on. Soon, you're wondering what the other people in the subway car are thinking. Are they secretly judging? Are they thinking I should have chosen another profession instead of following my passion?
Even though no one has said anything, you feel judged. You question your decisions and worry about what other people think of you. Soon, it consumes you as you try to be the person other people want you to be and friends, that is no way to live.
I know from experience. I used to live my life for other people. It got to the point where I literally lost myself as I made change after change. All in the hopes of becoming the ideal or perfect person for someone I loved dearly. In the process, I lost what made me...me. I lost my uniqueness and became a person I didn't recognize in the mirror.
It made me unhappy and chances are if you worrying and letting other people rule your life, you're also unhappy. And maybe you're wondering how you even got to that point to begin with.You could spend your whole life worrying about what other people think of you or you can write your own story and be happy being the person God made you to be.
Which one will you pick?